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Psychology says Social bonds of humans are strongest with parents and one with whom we are romantically involved . Breaking up will definitely hurt like hell.
And Neuroscience says that break up produces same effect as that of withdrawal symptoms from drugs .
You will go through a lot of emotions in the moving on phase. Sometimes you’ll feel sad and sometimes angry. Sometimes, you’ll feel a love towards him/her and sometimes strong hatred. They will break you from the inside. Sometimes, memories will make you feel nostalgic and sometimes they will haunt you.
You’ll feel more depressed after seeing other couples doing the same things you used to do with your partner.
I’ll advice you not to keep these emotions inside you. Share it with your closed ones to whom you know they will understand you and would not make fun of your feelings. Cry out loud. Cry while being alone too. Don’t let those feelings destroy you from the inside.
But, you can’t stay like that forever. You have to move on some or the other day. You have to get healed and overcome this pain. This is surely going to be tough but not impossible.
There are two options:
To stay depressed and affect your health as well as career.
To show courage and fight with your emotions.
First one will be the easier one right now. But the second one is correct. You need to decide whether you want to become a stronger person and move on or to stay weak forever.
You might be having a few or perhaps, a lot of regrets like you were not good while in the relationship. You couldn’t show him/her that you were the best partner.
Regrets are the biggest burden. Try hard not to keep them. Just keep in mind that you were at your best in the relationship. You did everything possible to save your relation at that time. It’s just that you guys were not destined to be together.
In denial period , you won’t accept things that has happened to you . This period starts right after the break up . The break up hasn’t hit you in full force yet . You feel numb . But this is tue toughest of all .
Symptoms of this period are –
You don’t feel like eating anything . Terrible loss in appetite . Indigestion as complementary .
Your work productivity hits a new low You feel drained of all the energies .
Brain fog . You will have a hazy thinking .
You will be insomniac . Either you will sleep a lot or don’t feel like sleeping at all .
You will isolate yourself and you will like keeping it that way .
You will have this urge to call them regularly & let them destroy your self respect .
Realization & grief .
I understand that you have frantically made efforts to get her back but to no avail . This period starts when you realize that the break up has actually happened and there is no going back .
Symptoms of this period :
You will feel depressed as if life has been sucked out of happiness .
You will miss her and at same time you will Google “how to move on ?” & End up here .
You will be skeptical about everything. You turn into a big time pessimist .
Here are few steps to overcome your pain:
Cry as much you want to. Let the feelings come out. Let the tears flow. Share with closed ones. Don’t hide your pain. Cry in front of them. Just let the pain come out.
Accept the situation. Don’t expect them to come back to you. Life is not a movie. Accept that your partner has gone forever.
Forgive. Forgiving doesn’t always mean forgiving the person. Sometimes, it means forgiving the situations and you have to forgive him/her as well as the situation. For this, you need to forgive yourself first.
Just stop talking about him/her after the third step. Stop stalking. Stop cribbing about that person to your friends. Just stop. Close the chapter. Behave as if you have never been into a relationship. Fake the happiness. Fake it till you feel it in real. And yes, you will start feeling that happiness in real.
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